Friday, October 16, 2009

Those Baby Clothes. . . .

Whenever I need to make more room in the babies' closet for new bigger or seasonal clothes, I put the outgrown clothes into plastic bags or bins and put them in the guest bedroom closet. Beyond that I don't pay much attention to all those retired clothes, other than to know that they're there.

Since Laramy was born, I've been asking Zac and Kimberly to come down and go through the girls' old clothes for Laramy to use. We really have a ridiculous amount of clothes (in my defense, there are 3 of them and since they're the same age we can't do hand-me-downs). Finally this past weekend, Zac and Kimberly came down to visit and go through the girls' clothes.

After we ate, I sent Gary and Zac upstairs to pull out all the clothes. Gary was apparently pretty shocked at the amount of clothes we had, because all I heard were mutterings of "I know they never wore all those" and "[censored]" and "what are we going to do with all that stuff" and "how the [censored] did end up with that many clothes" and so on and so forth, with Zac laughing the whole time. Then Kimberly and I headed up there to go through everything. At some point Zac came up to see what was going on.

It was all really going quite well. And then I ran across these little coordinating diaper cover and swing top sets that I had specially ordered for the girls. They only wore them once or twice. I felt a little lump in my throat, quickly determined that my girls would never wear them again, then told Kimberly they would be really cute on Laramy next summer and passed them to her for her pile. I was fine.

We went through a few other things. . . .

Then we got to some summer pajamas. Pajamas that my babies recently wore, but now it's getting too cool to wear them now. And I knew that next year they would be too big to wear them, I felt some tears welling up in my eyes, and I passed the pajamas on to Kimberly for Laramy to wear next summer. I was fine.

We went through a few other things. . . .

Then it started. Out of nowhere, I was crying. No, really, I was more than crying. I was sobbing. Because my babies would NEVER wear these clothes again. Kimberly described it as bittersweet, and I think that is completely accurate. I am so happy that my babies are big and growing and healthy, but I also can't believe that they will never go backwards and be little babies again. Intellectually I understand the concept quite well, but emotionally it's not quite so easy to accept.

Anyway, when I started my sobbing, Zac did as most men would do and quickly left the room, leaving Kimberly there to hug me and tell me that the kids would always be my babies. . . . I somewhat recovered, then worked hard to convince Zac and Kimberly that I really DID want them to take some clothes for Laramy. And this part actually embarrasses me -- but I actually took back some of the things I had put in Laramy's pile. I know my girls will never wear those outfits and that Laramy could put them to good use, but for some reason I feel better knowing I still have those clothes all packed away in my house. I can't explain it, but it gives me great comfort.

I was very blindsided by my entire reaction that day. I still don't understand it, but I'm just trying to accept it for what it is. It makes me wonder what else is going to happen in the future to cause that same reaction, because now I know that it will happen. . . .

8 comments:

Jennifer and Michael said...

Heather, I feel the exact same way!! I was going through some of Sarah's (almost 11 months) things the other day and I started crying too. I am so glad that she is growing and is getting bigger, but she's not my little baby anymore. She doesn't want to always sit in mommy's lap to be rocked to sleep -- oh no, there are things to explore! I remember the little pajamas and dresses ... oh how the time goes so fast!!

Samantha said...

I seriously think I am the only triplet mom who doesn't mind or get emotional about them growing up. I never was into babies and love the toddler stage. Also, I hope to have more kids in the future so maybe there's that thought in my mind that those baby clothes will be used in my household. What about you?

Heather Lee said...

Jennifer -- I think the scariest thing is that time will not slow down! It will all go by this fast!

Samantha -- Gary told me that if I have any more children it will be with my second husband. :) He only wanted two to begin with but I snuck one in on him. I didn't really care for the baby stage myself, which I think is part of the reason I was so shocked at how I responded. . . . Now everything is making me emotional, and it all started with those clothes!

FrenznickFive said...

I am the same way! I dont think we will be having anymore babies, my husband also only wanted two so Triplets probably maxed him out :o) but i get so sad packing away the clothes and I don't want to sell them or give them away *Just in Case* although the baby stage was rough I just get sad thinking they will never be babies again!

O'Brien Bunch said...

I can't talk--or comment---or even proof read this post because now I'm crying and well.....

thanks, alot.

Now I want another baby.

Waaaaaaaaaah.

Oh, and I can't believe Bald Guy Plaid Pants curses.

Lora Gaxiola said...

I've decided that being a mom entitles you to have emotional outbursts without warning anytime for any reason, especially wanting to turn back time. I have already broken down because mine will never be in my tummy again.

Leclercq Family said...

I do this all the time. I feel like I am transitioning clothes every few weeks with as fast as our triplets are growing and with the changing of the seasons. And there are just some things that I can't bare to part with. I get emotional and nostalgic and will have to spend hours looking back at pictures of when the babies were small enough to wear the clothes.

And its a good idea to keep some things! I have an identical twin sister and now I have identical girls. Almost all of the girls nice clothes were mine and my sisters as babies. So, I am keeping all of those things and other clothes that are my favorites for who knows- maybe my grandchildren.

Pamela said...

Getting rid of clothes is so much harder than I had ever anticipated. Seriously, my boys are now 5 and 3 and I still can't let some of the baby things go. I never thought I would be this person, the person attached to a pair of Gap overalls because both of her babies wore them when they were 3 to 6 months old. But I still have 'em. And I will for as long as I can. :o) I have a plastic tub filled with the special items. It's not too much, but it's not a little either. I have fun pulling them out when we clean the closet and showing my boys what they used to wear. You are not alone!