{four}

Today is it.  The big kids are now four years old.  I really can’t believe it.  I don’t know how FOUR YEARS has passed since the big kids were born.  It just doesn’t seem possible.

Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that I was in the hospital, on bedrest, hoping they’d be okay.  Other times it doesn’t really feel like it happened to us.  It feels like it was a story I read in a book or watched on a television show.

I wasn’t that emotional about birthdays at first.  But that changed suddenly last year, when I was fighting back tears during the big kids’ birthday party.  This year being emotional started even earlier, and I’ve letting my mind go back to when I was in the hospital, and the big kids’ birth, and feel it again.  It was mostly overwhelming fear.  Not at having three babies, of course, but of the other possibility.  A lot of the times I feel so sorry for the person I was at that time and all the fear I had – and I really wish I could have made that person feel better or give her a little support.  I’ve said this before, but I wish I could have let her see, for just a minute or two, what I see now – all these beautiful, healthy kids.  I think that I could pick out just one photo that would have gotten her through it all a little easier. . . .

This year, as we celebrate the big kids’ 4th birthday, we’re also celebrating being free of prematurity issues.  As of the end of May, Rosemary has been kicked out of speech therapy.  We have no other lasting effects of prematurity.  {Well, I guess that Rosemary’s asthma could be related to her prematurity – but it could also be inherited from Gary or from my dad, who both had childhood asthma.  Regardless, we have that under control now and I’m not going to count it!}  I’m a big believer in the concept of no-harm-no-foul.  Even though I know it wasn’t my fault that my body had such a hard time keeping them in, I feel like I can really let myself off the hook – finally.  No harm no foul.  They’re fine now.  My body didn’t let us down in the end.     

I can’t remember the last time I did a big comparison post of the kids.  I think it was when they were a year old.  That was a long time ago.  When the big kids were in the NICU, Aunt Kimberly and Uncle Zac gave them each a small stuffed animal.  We put those in their isolettes with them.  They looked giant next to our little babies, and we’ve kept them so that we never forget how small our kids used to be.

Here is Piper when she was 6 days old:

And Piper yesterday, holding that little lamb that used to be bigger than her head:

Here is Henry when he was 6 days old:

And here he is today, holding that same little bunny:

Last but not least, here is Rosemary at 8 days old:

Her hand was smaller than that doggie’s ear!!  But here is Rosemary yesterday, holding that same little doggy:

It’s just amazing to me.  It really is. 

The kids were SO excited to play with their little animals, then they kissed them goodbye until the next time they can play with them.

But before they put them up, Gary pulled up the old photos of them on his phone so that they could see how little they were and why these stuffed animals are so special to us. . . .

Penelope even loved on a stuffed animal a little bit.  We can’t leave her out!!!

Happy Birthday to our babies.  We love you and are so proud of you.